Kicked in the teeth

The last few weeks have been incredibly challenging. Fortunately, they came at a time I could handle them, if a bit gracelessly. After Spring semester, I intentionally chose to withdraw from Georgia Tech (I was not forced to leave or even asked to leave -- my record during my year there, if you choose to inspect it, was flawless) in order to start my own non-profit. The mission of the non-profit, as is usual for young organizations, started relatively vague and was in flux for a while as it evolved, clarified, and became more focused and precise. It resulted in the incorporation of the techethics foundation on July 22, 2009.

Since my choice for Executive Director, Erica Kelley, was unanimously affirmed by the board of directors, my life began to revolve around Little Five Points (L5P), which is near her home. We often met there for meetings, as we did not think it necessary to pay for an office quite yet. L5P is a fascinating and self-consciously and (I suspect) intentionally-planned Bohemian-esque section of Atlanta, one I began frequenting in the late 1980s or early 1990s. Since that time, I have always wanted a home there. Since I was in L5P on business, I also began to take advantage of the proximity to great live music, particularly at the 5spot, which is a little club with a fantastically good vibe, decent drinks, great art for sale on the walls, food that is usually very good (depending on who's making it ;) ), and that hosts incredibly talented and skilled musicians. Anyway, after six weeks of driving to L5P from Buckhead (way across town) once and sometimes twice every day, I decided it made sense to move -- saving time, energy, and decreasing my carbon footprint. I quickly found what seemed the perfect spot:

1124 Colquitt Avenue NE Apt #3
Atlanta, GA 30307

Coming from Buckhead with a great landlord (if you ever get the chance to live in a place owned by David Robertson, seize the opportunity!), I was a bit, shall we say, naive. I called the owners of 1124 Colquitt, Rebecca (Becky) C. Kidd and Bryan Kidd, and met with Bryan and expressed my interest. Soon my roommate, Mike Hewner (a third year PhD student and Georgia Tech and all-around great guy), had mailed them a check for $1800 from Seattle, where he was interning for the summer - $900 security deposit, $900 first month's rent, and a bit extra since the rent should have been prorated from the move-in date (August 6, 2009). I soon got keys and was very happy to be in L5P - so happy that I slept on the floor just so I could be in my new home.

Funny thing is, as soon as Bryan and Becky had me moved in, I began having what I considered to be trouble contacting my landlords. When I moved in, it appeared to me that the place have not even been cleaned after the last tenant left (even though I was delayed moving in by several days from my original plan ), much less repaired. One of the kitchen windows was difficult to operate and I could never get it to shut completely in the hot Atlanta summer. Which might have been for the best, because I could never figure out how to operate the central air (though I had told Bryan this, I never got any assistance from him in this matter). Luckily, I found an old window AC unit in a closet (what was that doing left behind in an apartment with central air?) and put it in (though I still am unaware of how much money it cost me to run it while I was in 1124 Colquitt). Of course, the home had two radiators, as well, which Bryan had told me were decorative. But I never got the chance to discover whether I'd end up using them in winter, as I was formally asked, in writing, by Bryan to leave my home on August 19, just 13 days after moving in. The notice said I was in violation of item four in the lease, but did not isolate a clause (there are several) nor provide any documentation of actual violations. Now, I know how to read legal documents and I had read the lease carefully three times when I moved in, just to make sure I was capable of conforming to my legal obligation. I have since re-read the lease and still believe that I complied with all its clauses, but I guess I'll never know what Bryan thought I violated -- as I clearly had no interest in living in my home when the landlords did not want me there, I simply moved out (under great duress and hardship). I called Bryan the evening of August 23 and informed his answering machine (he seldom answered my calls, so the only surprise for me was that the VM was not full and I actually was able to leave my soon-to-be-ex-landlord a message) that I was able to return the keys and that I'd be happy to meet at the Yacht Club in L5P, which he had told me from our first meeting was his favorite place to drink beer while working on 1124 Colquitt. Since I got no response, I went to L5P and ate dinner at the Yacht Club (a great place - try the Brunswick Stew -- yum!) on the off chance he'd show up to get his keys and return the money he had promised (in writing - he stated he would return my entire security deposit and prorate the rent to the amount of time there, if I would simply leave). So, the next day, Monday August 24, I officially and legally mailed the keys to the address I had been given in Avondale with Becky's name on it (exactly as I have it saved in my sent mail) with both return receipt requested and restricted delivery, so I could be sure no one would intercept their keys. So, I have turned the place back over to the Kidds (moving out completely in a record four days, though I paid (what for me) is a good bit of money and irritated some family members who offered to help because they didn't know what a big job it was) and I am out. I am back in Buckhead, living at the same location I have been for three years, due to an amazing landlord (David Robertson -- remember that name!). I have yet to receive my money back that I was promised, but Bryan and Becky legally have 30 days from August 24 to return it before I have to go to court to receive it and, I've been told by my lawyer, an additionally triple of my security deposit in punitive damages. So now I am not quite biding my time -- it's more like reassembling my life.

Oh, I resigned my position with the techethics foundation on August 21, 2009 -- my position as employee and my privilege as board member in the organization I left Georgia Tech to start, the organization which I hoped was my one shot at the "big time" in making a social difference with my life. Notice the date - two days after I received the notice from Bryan Kidd. That was a Friday morning, immediately before the 9:30 AM board meeting at Dr. Bombay's Underwater Tea Party in Chandler Park (another awesome place -- and see if if you get to be served by Ashley, a total sweetheart!). Friday was the day I actually began planning the move of my stuff, the follow-through was done on Saturday and Sunday. I didn't explain in my email to my Executive Director, Erica Kelley, but I resigned because I couldn't fulfill my duties while under the personal duress I was enduring -- I refused to receive money for just sticking around, I actually insisted on doing my job. I know Erica is quite disturbed by this and I deeply regret having to leave my own organization, but, frankly, those are the breaks. One thing I'm confident of from my life so far: I enjoy caring for others more than I like to care for myself, but caring for myself is a prerequisite to being capable of caring for others -- we cannot give if we do not have. So I do what I have to, even if I don't like it and, frankly, no one else understands it unless they ask me and actually listen to and grapple with my reasons in a very difficult situation.

So, now I am unemployed, my stuff is scattered all over Atlanta, my roommate has had a hard time because it is difficult to get a PhD when chaos surrounds you, and my personal wealth is depleted. Oh, and I didn't mention that pretty much every member of my family has stopped listening to and, in many cases, even speaking with me because they think that all of this is my fault. Granted, I may have lacked some social prudence and been a bit naive; but, really, it seems like victim-blaming to me. Thankfully (and not surprisingly) my dear mother is the last person left in my camp, though even she may not be able to last long under this kind of stress.

There is always a bright side, though. This experience is really sorting my relationships so I know who I can count on in a desperate pinch and who I cannot. It re-affirms my conscious decision to be naive rather than street-smart (yes, I could be street-smart, I just choose not to be) because the folks who are looking out for number one are all the ones not there for me when I really need them. If Obama is right in saying "Yes, We Can!" (and I believe he is) there has to be a "We" to act and people who close into defensive positions and protect themselves and their possessions in hard times and become suspicious of everyone (especially when they are suspicious of their blood-kin) and exactly the problem this country must overcome to revitalize itself and achieve a potential future that guarantees life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to all. So, yes, I simply choose to be open, naive, and trusting with any particular person I meet until I have clear evidence that the open approach is not working with that particular person. And, frankly, if that kills me, then this is a collection of people (but not a society and especially not a community, as it doesn't rise to those levels of esteem) I didn't want to live with anyway. In a way it's sad that we don't get to opt into life in the way we would choose -- but being thrown, as Heidegger put, has its own beauty (f you're curious about what that means, I recommend Hubert Dreyfus's lectures on Division I of Heidegger's _Being and Time_, available for free on iTunes U - Dreyfus doesn't always get Heidegger, but I only know that because he sometimes says so in his lectures).

Well, it's 8:41 AM and I gotta boogie. I am headed to Joseph A. Banks to pick up a new suit (Sayed at the Buckhead store works wonders!). Then some primping (haircut, perhaps a manicure, etc). Tonight I get the distinct honor and pleasure of attending Mary Squires's kickoff fundraiser for her campaign to become Insurance Commissioner of Georgia. I am additionally honored that Brandon Thorn, the organizer of the fundraiser, invited me to be on the hosting committee. I'm clearly out of my class, listed with so many "Hon." and "Dr." and even a "Sheriff" and a "Lt." on the invitation. And the honored guest is ... Max Cleland! War hero (documented, look him up!) and former US Senator from Georgia, a man I am very excited to meet! I haven't really followed politics, as I've never known who to trust to tell me the truth about a very dirty game. But Brandon Thorn has shown himself to be an incredible person, sticking by me in my time of need, when even my own family has turned away, not questioning my judgment but offering his support, and not retracting his invitation to attend the fundraiser despite my chaotic life and the disruption of my social network, which I thought was my greatest asset. So, for Brandon, when I have no job and no clear path forward, I spent over $2000 to be dressed by Sayed (and he cut me a great deal! I'll be back to buy more from him when my finances are back in order), am spending the day thinking about politics rather than my own life (what a nice relief!), and I am ready to do anything he asks, because I know he'll never ask me to do anything I don't understand and believe in - even if he has to spend time explaining something socially "obvious" to me in order that I understand why taking a particular action is good.

So, thanks Brandon Thorn! And thanks to Bryan and Becky Kidd. The complete disruption of my life, which I believe is proximally caused by the problems with my landfolks that culminated in my "eviction", has given me a chance to reconsider everything, to start over, to be reborn. Robert Kegan in _The Evolving Self_ says that we achieve higher levels of personal development when we are simultaneously supported and challenged in appropriate ways. Between the challenge which I see the Kidds as having initiated and the support I've been given by Brandon Thorn (and Brad Chamness, who is always backing Brandon up and supporting Brandon like Brandon is supporting me) and David Robertson and Mike Hewner and others, I've been given a chance to re-parent myself and lead a life of my own which few ever have the opportunity to do or even know is possible.

It's a good day. I can do this. Stay tuned -- if you thought my life so far was interesting, the times ahead are going to be even better!

With both love and respect,

Derek Richardson

P.S. I apologize for any remaining typos - but it is now 9:05 AM and I promised Sayed I'd be at Joseph A. Bank at 10 AM sharp to pick up my new suit!

Now accepting summer work in Python

I am in the process of putting together my summer work schedule. Although I have a few options for employment, I prefer to do contract work over the summer and interact directly with clients.

I am interested in work in Python. My Python experience is primarily on web systems, WSGI generally and Zope specifically. I have done a good bit of content management work in Plone.

I have a twelve-year history in software engineering, the last three years or so in Python; previously, I did Java (once one excludes ancient history).

I also have an extensive network of Python contacts, so I am willing to field work that is too much for one person - I can be your point person to put together a capable team.

My dates of availability are May 11 - August 7. I am currently investigating incorporation; if you prefer a corp-to-corp, contact me soon and I will expedite the process.

Resume and references available upon request.

Contact me at 'stuff' at my domain name (my site is http://www.derekrichardson.net ).

Follow me on Twitter

I finally succumbed to Twitter. A few days after checking it out for the first time (I was resistant!), I've discovered that micro-blogging is much easier than real blogging. Follow me!

I'll likely continue to blog here, with about the same regularity -- i.e., seldom. I just don't often have the time to polish a full-length post these days, while in a demanding PhD program.

Proactive and Reflective - Fundamentally Linked?

I recently ran across the work of Giovanni Pezzulo on anticipatory systems. At this point, I can especially recommend:

• Giovanni Pezzulo & Cristiano Castelfranchi (2007). The Symbol Detachment Problem. Cognitive Processing, 8(2), 115-131.
• Giovanni Pezzulo (2008). Coordinating with the Future: the Anticipatory Nature of Representation. Minds and Machines, 18, 179-225.

I am still evaluating this work (for myself, not for anyone else), but I already find it very promising. It is especially relevant in the context of past posts in my blog about proactivity and reflectivity.

Pezzulo hypothesizes that cognitive systems evolve out of reactive systems through a series of stages. The fundamental movement through these stages is a progressive detachment from the immediate perceptual situation, largely constituted through the development of goals. Representing future states is the original way humans come to learn to represent things that are currently absent. It is this ability to "detach" from the current perceptual situation that is the defining mark of cognitive, as opposed to reactive, systems.

The opposition between "reactive" and "cognitive" already foretells what I am going to say. Another pairing is "reactive" versus "proactivc." And "cognitive" is somewhat synonymous for "reflective." Thus reflectivity and proactivity may share the same root, the development of goals.

One difference between reflectivity and cognition that comes to mind, however, is that the origins of cognition are in prediction, according to Pezzulo, but reflection is largely about what is past. So, while these concepts are tied together closely, they are not synonymous and can be disentangled. If cognition is the overarching term, then reflection is cognition about the past and prediction is cognition about the future, perhaps? But reflection also has the meaning of being meta-cognition, which is a second level of cognition about cognition. Clearly the term "reflection" is overloaded and perhaps weary with its immense burden.

So this is where I stop writing and start thinking some more...

Web site updated

Take a look.

Quick Update

It's been several months since I posted. This is a quick update on what I've been doing, which hopefully will communicate why I haven't posted recently.

In August, I started as a student in the Georgia Tech PhD program in Human-Centered Computing. Now, 2.5 months in, I'm even happier to be in this program than I was when I was accepted. The PhD student life suits me: self-directed and full of opportunities. In fact, the opportunities are so plentiful that it's a bit overwhelming -- I have recently shifted from trying to figure out new things to do to trying to figure out which are most important, as I cannot possibly do everything there is to do at GT that is worth doing. As I sort this question out, I may post here or to my site (which is badly in need of updates!) about what I decide to pursue.

This semester I am involved in four courses. One is the Introduction to Human-Centered Computing course, taught by Beki Grinter, that is required of all entering HCC PhD students. This is actually the only course with a syllabus in which I am a student. The other course with a syllabus, Nancy Nersessian's Culture and Cognition, is an undergraduate section for which I am the TA. TAing suits me, which I expected but am still happy to have confirmed. My other two courses are known as "8903"'s -- directed research for which I receive course credit. One is with Ashok Goel and I am investigating the affordances of Task-Method-Knowledge modeling for software engineers comprehending pre-written code. The other is with Janet Kolodner, though I am directly supervised by her PhD students, Tammy Clegg and Christina Gardner. In this second 8903, I am looking at (1) various aspects of the development of identities of amateur scientific practitioners and (2) distributed cognition processes.

So, that's my official coursework and it keeps me quite busy. The thing about research is that there is always more that can be done and thus researchers are in a constant state of guilt, though it's somewhat more intense when one is not productively working on research. I was not aware of this before I started the semester and it's one of many salient lessons I have learned.

Concurrently with doing my coursework, I am trying to figure out what direction my personal research will take. So far, I have stuck with the "expertise of software engineers" theme. However, I have come to realize that individual cognition is situated in a rich context and that this context may even dominate, in some instances, the role of individual cognition in the production of software. Thus I find my agenda becoming more and more characterized by the social, as opposed to the individual, aspects of software engineers' expertise. Indeed, there is a tipping point when I would characterize my interest as in social expertise in social domains rather than social expertise in technical domains (I have already passed through individual expertise in technical domains). I don't know whether I've reached that tipping point yet or whether I will in the future; I just know that there are two positions here and someday I'll know where I stand.

This has largely been an update for my friends with whom I have not been in touch, rather than a substantive post. One reason is that I am now using BibDesk as a bibliography manager and tend to put my thoughts about research either there or in text files, neither of which is accessible from the web. The role of my blog in my academic life is something that requires thought and strategy and, at the moment, I don't have the time to devote to it. Hopefully that will change, perhaps over Winter break.

Learning is Becoming a Practitioner

I can't resist a good quote. From page 48 of John Seely Brown and Paul Duguid's Organizational Learning and Communities-of-Practice: Toward a Unified View of Working, Learning, and Innovation:

Workplace learning is best understood, then, in terms of the communities being formed or joined and personal identities being changed. The central issue in learning is becoming a practitioner not learning about practice.

It just doesn't get any clearer than that!